when i was in the depressed state and wanted people to care for me, i wasnt calm enough. I wanted people to ask me how am I, how i feel, and i realized i put in more of 'I...blah blah' in my convos. at that time, i'd tell myself its okay that i'm feeling this way and that it will pass. now it did, but i have to continue practising. to be able to care for others like i did in the past, i must first be calm. because i did lots of meditation in the past and was at least calmer, i was able to ask about how the others are doing almost all the time. fortunately, i'm becoming calmer now as i start with metta meditation, and it slowly allowed me to see why i was feeling the way i did before and after.

life now is comfortable. nice place, nice bed, nice people, nice teachers... thankew daddy mummy for the opportunities and everything. really. Loving you and come back from Tibet soon to tell us all about your trip!

Me: hm.. zhi shao yi nian hou cai hui lai yi xia.

Wu jiu: whoa, bu zhi dao wo hai zai bu zai.

uncle has been saying that for some time. its true, but it made me feel a little sad cause he's my beloved bubbly and funny uncle. i dont know whether its because of health problem or not that made him say that. i asked him and he said he's fine and have stopped drinking. anyways, hope he'll be well, happy and healthy:D

back to Vancouver after 7 months in Singapore and uni is starting tomorrow. am quite excited for the start of it and choosing between 300 ccas to join. the first thing i noticed when i landed is the smell of fresh air. its sooo clear, nice and sweet that it made me really happy. with the scenery of mountain and sea, it feels like heaven to me. life's not too bad for now(:

i'm excited for dad and mum's return to Singapore so that I can skype them to ask about their Tibet trip.